Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
