Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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