today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
