Are we in a gay sports bar?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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