This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
