He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
