why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
