I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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