So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
