Kiss
Puke
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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