He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
