On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
