dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
