you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
