he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
