it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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