i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
