I have demons in me.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
