the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think i have herpe
just one?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
