Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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