i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
