Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
