Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We left an ass print on the piano.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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