So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
