In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So much rum. So many feels.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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