Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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