if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
