so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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