eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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