How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
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I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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