before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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