What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's blow job season.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
