You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
