She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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