This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
