Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
