so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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