just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
