i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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