I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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