i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
