Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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