Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
