Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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