This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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