I wanna passion pit in your ass
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
