when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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