I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
