i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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