it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize