I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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