oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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