the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
