so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
