the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
