stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize