Non-Jews are for practice
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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