They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
