don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
