i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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