Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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