Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
