all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
