omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
