is your mom at the bar?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
