road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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