do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
